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27 September 2007 @ 12:09 am
[Fic] Heero and Relena's Supposed Wedding 4/?  
 BEWARE THE BAD!  THE POSSIBLE TRITE!  And yet allow yourself to be humored and find the goodness in it :).

Title: Heero and Relena's Supposed Wedding
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Genre: Humor/Romance
Rating: Err... Teen
Pairings: 1xR, 2xH, 5+S, one-sided 4+3, and eventual, yet accidental 1x6 lolz.
Warnings: Written in the eighth grade (2001) and has not been touched since probably 2002.  Possible OOCness.  Foreplay.  Eventual accidental!Yaoi and slight shounen-ai.  Incomplete.
DisclaimerGundam Wing and all it's characters thereof belong to Bandai (I think).  I make no claim to them.
Word Count: All together 5,204

Summary:  Heero proposes to Relena.  Relena accepts.  Duo throws Heero a bachlors party...  and everything goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Start: 2001
Update: Possibly sometime in 2002

Author's Note:  This idea spawned with ONE scene in mind.  Just one.  And that was of Relena walking in on Heero Yuy and Milliardo Peacecraft having drunken!sex.  But now, why would Relena be walking in on something like that?  And thus a story was born and later forgotten.  I haven't touched this fic in nearly six years.  It's unlikely I will ever complete writing it, but I would love to see it completed.  So I presented it over at

bigbluebox.  We'll see how it goes :).


Chapter Four:

Duo lay in bed watching the late night television when Britney Spears came on with her infamous Pepsi commercial. He winced at her chipmunk like voice but was engrossed at watching her belly and traveling his eyes up her form to her-

"DUO! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Hilde screeched batting the young man's hand away from her offended chest. Duo blinked before looking where he had placed his hand.

It seemed innocent enough for him. After all, he was a guy and most guys did that sort of stuff with their girlfriends… Although maybe not while watching a Britney Spears Pepsi commercial.

"Jeez Hilde, don't need to spaz on me!" Duo tried defending himself guiltily taking his hand away from the female and rolling over red faced in embarrassment.

"Well don't grope me in the frigging middle of the night!" She groaned rolling over on her side. After a few minutes of heated silence Duo spoke in a low voice,

"I only do it because I love you. You know that." The purple haired girl turned to face her boyfriend's back. She scotched close and laid her hand on him, squeezing in a comforting way.

"Oh Duo, what am I going to do with you?" She sighed a smile playing on her face. Duo turned halfway around and looked up into violet orbs. He looked so boyishly cute and manly handsome at the same time. Hilde felt a shiver rush through her body. She leaned down and pressed her lips against the surprised young man.

With pleasure he allowed her tongue to pass into his mouth where he twisted his own to mold against hers. He put his hands around Hilde's form and lifted her from her position onto him and then rolled over onto her. They parted for a moment for breath before Duo started kissing his girl with butterfly kisses on her lips to succulent ones on her collarbone and then back up again.

"You know, we have got to learn how to control ourselves." Hilde breathed in ecstasy. Duo stopped with the kisses and lifted himself up a little and looked at Hilde in a quizzical way.

"Can't you for a moment enjoy this? You always protest! Why?! Do I smell bad or somethin'?" Duo asked agitated. Hilde looked into indigo eyes of anger, hurt, and amusement.

"You practically force your tongue down my throat! How am I supposed to breathe? And ya, you do start to get a little nauseous if you've got someone's armpit that smells like it's been to the sewer and back in your face. Try using some deodorant once in awhile!"

"Oh that was diss." Duo rolled off his girl and laid on his back glaring at the ceiling. "Well you know what? You smell like you've got a dirty pad in your mouth, I can still taste your fucking dinner!"

"You bastard! How was I to know that in the fucking middle of the night you'd wanna grope!?" Hilde yelled throwing a pillow at the insulting man.

"I never said I wanted to grope! I just wanted to make sure you were still there!"

"Don’t say that shit to me, I know you're lying. You were probably watching Britney Spears fake fucking boobs again! Why don't you just go out and find that fucking clone of hers and-"

"Shut up Hilde! What about you and-"

A continuous knock at the door meant they woke their landlord up again for the fifth time that week. Duo and Hilde became silent and listened to the pounding on the door and the muffled shouts the landlord threatened them with. Duo desperately searched his side of the bed for the remote control. Successful, he shut the t.v. off and impaled the two into darkness, the landlords shouts and knocks the only thing heard.

Though Duo felt that anyone with in a mile's radius could hear his heartbeat.

"I swear, one more time I'm woken up in the middle of the God damn night you're out! I mean it! Lawsuit and all!" Was the last of the old man's threats before they heard his stomping up the stairs and the slam of his door.

"I think we have to find a new place." Duo said breaking the unbearable tension.

"No, we just need to keep the noise level down." Hilde said.

"Hilde, he's old! If the t.v.'s up at 37 volume at 8 p.m. he's down here pounding on the rotting door!" Duo argued.

"He may be old but he's also our landlord, we have to respect him."

"Screw respect, it's not like he respected us by just rudely walking in here in the early morning and leaving a note saying he 'borrowed' our milk!" Duo countered. Hilde sighed in frustration, running a pale hand through her short maroon hair.

"Okay, we'll look for a new place tomorrow. But tell me, where the hell are we going to find an affordable place. It's not like we're rich." The female gave in. Duo rolled onto his back and stared up at the sitting form of his girlfriend.

"We'll find a place. I'll ask Quatre to give us a loan." Duo said reassuringly.

"Damn it Duo! Quatre gave us a loan for this shit hole and we still haven't paid him back! We can't keep running to Quatre just because he's stocked with cash." Hilde cried out close to tears.

"Shh, don't worry about it. Lie down." Duo said soothingly. Eventually Hilde succumbed to his command and laid down allowing him to rub her back. They fell asleep awhile later, Hilde still thinking of their financial issues and Duo secretly worrying about his and Hilde's relationship. If they continued fighting like this (as they were now going on their third week) then it was only a matter of time before the big kaboom came and separated them forever.

Duo rolled over on his back and thought about the source of all their fights. It was because Hilde wanted to get married, now that someone in their own little group was. But they were still young and Duo was restless. He didn't want to settle down. There were still too many bars to go to and start riots for fun. Duo hadn't done enough madness of a normal man his age to settle down. Thinking about it, he didn't see why Heero was getting married now. Sure, him and Relena have been dating for years, but after he gets hitched then he had no freedom…

"That means no late night ding dong ditch!" Duo thought mentally horrified. Okay sure, Heero actually didn't participate in it, but he did go and amuse himself watching Duo ring the doorbell at 2 in the morning and then run away. It would be after Duo got drunk. Duo didn't exactly relish the hangovers in the morning but he was satisfied in making Heero Yuy laugh… Even if it was because he made a total ass of himself.

Now Duo wasn't sure if he wanted his best friend to get married. All the fun that he has with him would be taken away. And God only knows if he would actually even ever see Heero again. For all he knows Relena could decide to move somewhere far away or spy on her husband after he left the house promptly at seven a.m. What if they had kids!? If they had kids then that would be the end to any fun the ex-pilots could have together because then Heero would have to be responsible and live up to his family's expectations! And then Duo would have to be a good role model to them by not swearing or coming over drunk…

The possibilities were starting to make Duo's stomach's tie in knots. Suddenly this Relena/Heero thing wasn't such a good idea. And to think it was him and Quatre who suggested Heero marry her! Her, the stalker!

Duo punched his pillow. "So, it's more so my fault that Hilde wants to get married!" He coaxed, face buried in the pillow. He hit it a few more times frustrated. Too tired to carry on he rolled onto his back again and stared blankly at the ceiling. It was then he remembered him and the guy's planned to throw Heero and bachelor party. He groaned. Why had he ever suggested such a thing?